literature

angels and cigarettes

Deviation Actions

orange-ninja32's avatar
Published:
432 Views

Literature Text

remember making sandcastles
mostly out of dead cigarette butts
littered through the glittering sand
they had become such a common thing
even for us
two children
maybe that's where this all started
that day on the beach
with our sandcastle made out of disintegrating cigarettes

remember how we used to hold our breath
as we passed under a bridge
even now I do that
as I pass by the dark street corners
only lit by the fiery lightning bugs
hanging on to the tips of cigarettes
disappearing with every drag
smoke w i s p i n g out with their breath
mixed in with the chill of the night
maybe that's where it all ended
on dark street corners,
mysterious faces, and disappearing cigarettes

it's funny, how something so short lived
somehow never disappears from my life
it just keeps  s  p  r  e  a  d  i  n  g
even to you
soon enough, i'm sure of it
you'll have the angels smoking those luring cigarettes
because no one can resist your sweet voice
and your words spilling out as smokey sandcastles
on an empty beach
where I used to look up to you.
you were my angel and i used to look up to you....

my secret? i could have stopped it all. if only i had the courage to believe my own eyes.



- does the format work well with the poem or is it distracting? - i've edited it a bit, i'm still unsure about some of the words that are spaced out....what do you think?



about the same...thing:

[link]

if you're interested
© 2011 - 2024 orange-ninja32
Comments20
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Ivy-Greene's avatar
I really like the story behind the poem and how you phrased it, but the formatting is a bit distracting. I think I read this three or four times. I think perhaps you just went a bit overboard with this one, it would've been nicer if a few less words were different. That being said, I still like the poem.